Spending money on yourself and your family may feel good, but it does not end human suffering.Having the knowledge of how to end human suffering, you can entrust your money to HSRF to combat human suffering. You can both spend money, and end human suffering by giving your money to us.Your money won't be yours anymore. But it will be ours.

The answer is to give us your money.Say these words: I will give all of I have to the Human Suffering Relief Foundation. It will make me happy. If I am unhappy, I must give more.

Reflect upon these words and your commitment. Feel true happiness as you feel suffering leaving the world.

Now look in the mirror. Isn't that better? Stop crying, you didn't need all of your money anyway.

Allan was a Mystic and Healer who was on a spiritual journey of englightenment and potential from a young age. With a great passion and joy for life and money, and a deep disdain for suffering, Allan started the Human Suffering Relief Foundation in 1997, shortly before the Willenium.

Because it's a great way to reach morons, Allan originally advertised on late night infomercials on the FX Network, entertaining many whippit huffing college students during his time.

The Foundation found real succes when a celebrity on a bender happened to relieve themselves literally into one of Allan's thousand page tomes on suffering. It shone a real spotlight on Allan, and his efforts to combat Human Suffering.

Unfortunately, no one lives forever. Especially if they don't give all of their earthly possessions to the foundation! While he was the founder, and main guru of the foundation, even he could not escape death's march. Unwilling to part with all of his earthly possessions by donating them to the foundation, he parted with them through death.

Is there a lesson here? Yes, do not be like Allan. Give us everything that you've got, or you're going to suffer and die.